06 Jul 2011
Posted in Comedy, Life at 2:29 pm by alby
I woke up at 3 this morning giggling inanely. It’s not often this happens. I’d been having a dream and it seems to have been set on the Top Gear set.
Clarkson was doing his thing and then started talking about a new product – as if to make fun of it. Rather like they do every Christmas with the poor collection of merchandise stuff the car companies put out for consumption.
Anyway he was holding what looked like an old steel flask. Like a Thermos but older and more battered. This was the new product. This flask’s decor was simply some letters that looked like they’d been done with sticky back plastic.
And the product’s name was “WASPUS”.
And I woke up uncontrollably giggling.
How very bizarre.
[edit] Omguh! It’s a place in Papua New Guinea. I have to go there. NOW! (I feel like Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters)
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28 Jun 2011
Posted in Life at 8:54 pm by alby
We got a school raffle thing going on at present. It’s the usual thing of a bit of money in return for the chance of a minor prize.
How minor? Well the top prize is £50. The 3rd prize is dinner at a local restaurant. So what’s 2nd then?
Da-dada-daaahhh: It’s…..a “Sony Walkman”.
Omwuh! Not heard of one of them for a while. I had to explain what it was to N at great length.
My initial thought was that “this can’t be right” and that they might mean an mp3 player or summat but they’re usually more than £50 aren’t they. I suppose some rubbish ones might be cheaper.
But wow. A walkman. Ahhh.
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20 Jun 2011
Posted in Life, Self-indulgence, Work at 9:41 pm by alby
Bleurgh.
Things very very busy at the mo. I suppose I’m in quite a good working place tho. This week I’m working 5 days, I’ve been offered a few Saturdays and a new clinic is offering me work. This should all be good.
However my main job is still the NHS one which is 3 days a week. Leaving it will mean a 3 month notice period (unless I manage to get myself instantly fired for serious professional misconduct – nice idea but I’ll probably lose my professional registration in the process).
So do I hand notice in now and take the risk or leave it until people can offer me more regular work and then I have to keep them waiting for 3 months?
It’s a nice situation to be in on one hand but then I have financial responsibilities which means we might suffer if I jump too early and get no more regular work more locally.
Hmm tricky.
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06 Jun 2011
Posted in Juggling, Life, People, Travel at 9:08 pm by alby
Ahh Camping.
We had 8 nights this May starting with the rest of the family’s first BBU.
The drive was a complete mare. Something like 5 hours with many stops involved. Once there though a few lovely people helped with baby-sitting and/or tent upping. We did only have one request along the lines of “How many days have you packed for?” as we dumped a house worth’s of stuff into the tent. Mildly surprised at that.
Bloomin’ cold it was at first. That first night was a bit of a nippy one. But we all survived that one well enough and the next 3 days were just relaxed and happy. Very nice people, lovely location and decent weather. Oh and the friendliest juggling convention took place around us too.
On the Monday we had to decamp, re-pack the car, drive north, unpack the car and re-camp. That was a long day.
The new site was just outside of Cromer. We’d packed up in 22 degree sunshine and were dressed for summer. As we got nearer Cromer the weather turned; we lost 8 degrees and gained rain and wind a plenty. It heaved it down with rain that night which gave us a rather rough view of Cromer as we went out for fish and chips. Not the best first impression.
After that though the weather was pretty darn nice and so was Cromer. At least it wasn’t bad for an English seaside town. Proper pier with theatre too.
We zoomed over to Hunstanton for a day with my folks and niece and nephews which was fun despite Hunstanton being a dump and losing 2 children at one point. The following day my folks came to Cromer for a rather lovely day of lazing and walking and beach sitting. And that was about it.
Things of note were that the businessmen of Norfolk seem to be untrustworthy dodgy types. There was a children’s fair thing on the seafront at Cromer where you had to buy tickets from a central place and signs up all around to insist that you don’t give cash to the staff! Nice way to treat your staff – “hi thanks for working for us, we don’t trust you.” In Hunstanton too the refrain “No refunds” was apparent on a goodly number of signs.
We went at one point to a crazy golf course only to find another “no refunds” sign, a price of a fiver each and another sign that said “No followers”. The group in front of us were debating this as they had a very young member of their family but the rather dodgy looking people in the hut were not shifting on their no follower rule. This kid was no way old enough to play the game so they were being total arses. We decided not to spend that much money when it involved giving it these shysters.
Oh the town should be renamed “Hunstanto’n” as no-one there seems able to use apostrophes correctly.
After Cromer we packed up and headed to Manchester as R had rather sweetly bought us tickets to see The Fall live in their home town that Friday. Hellish journey! Getting northwest from Cromer isn’t easy. In the end it took us 6 hours of slow and tedious roads. The show was fun whilst it lasted but it didn’t last very long at all so a long day’s drive for about 60 minutes of entertainment (including support poet “a low rent John Cooper Clarke” and band). Officious bouncer helped to annoy many, R couldn’t see anything and it was awfy hot. Luckily R’s sister is lovely and looked after the young folk for us (with the excellent help of her daughter) whilst we were out. And finally home on the Saturday.
All in all a lovely week. I think we need less stuff and a wilder trip next time. Maybe Glen Brittle?
Have fun.
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12 May 2011
Posted in Life, Rants at 9:11 pm by alby
We had a thingy posted through our door yesterday, most impressive leaflet it was.
’twas an advert for some bloke who is (take a deep breath)
- an astrologer
- palm reader
- face reader
- numerologist
- spiritualist
- vedic
- vaastu expert
- psychologist
- expert in tantric
Wow. I do hope he’s actually a psychologist as I believe it’s actually illegal to claim that you are if you’re not. All of the other things are mainly bollocks.
The next line states that he
“predicts the past, present and future”
Coo! Predicting the past and present eh? Tricky stuff!
He’s inviting enquiries for lots of personal problems. You know the stuff, all very tedious like marital issues etc.
Then we get to “eduction”. I guess he means “education”, bit of a faux pas to mess up that word tho. The next bit is about improving your lot at work; ie looking for a “promototion”. Not sure I’d follow this bloke’s advice.
I mean really!
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05 Apr 2011
Posted in Life, Self-indulgence at 8:01 am by alby
Me and R went out for lunch yesterday. Now whenever we eat out there’s a worrying period of waiting after ordering to see who has ordered the nicest food. Neither of us wants to have food envy!
Anyway, yesterday I won. My meal was significantly more enticing. And filling. And better value for money. Win!
However R is not one to snatch defeat from the jaws of defeat.
We were the only public in the place as it was past normal lunch time but there were a couple of presumably staff having their lunch too. They were sat some distance away and more to the point they were behind me.
We’d made comment on these two during our meal but nothing beyond “ooh who are they? Do you think they’re staff?”, that sort of thing.
Anyway as there is one last bit of my meal left on my plate R suddenly says “Look at them now”; I turn round. “Look they’re drinking Red Stripe” she adds.
“So?”
“I thought it was unusual.”
I turn back to see an empty plate.
Gah! Got by the old “look over there” ploy.
Curses!
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27 Mar 2011
Posted in Life, People at 8:24 am by alby
We went to Conkers on Sunday. (Worth buying tickets on the net tho as it’s 20% cheaper)
Friends of N’s were going and it was a last minute thing for us to join them. I’d been before a few years ago and thought it had potential as a good place to visit if only the stuff around would grow a bit.
Getting there was odd. The route was confusing, the sat nav picked a weird way. I’m sure there should be a quicker way but even googlemaps picked the same odd way.
But we got there in the end. We met up with friends and wandered around for a bit taking pics of geese and swans. There was one swan that seemed to be bullying a goose, but bless the goose it kept on trying its luck. The swan was guarding another swan, I’m guessing this was Mrs Swan. So the goose would go into the pond and the swan would come and chase it out onto the grass. Then it would turn round and head back to the Mrs. The goose would then re-enter the pond and the whole thing just kept on repeating. I watched for about 5 minutes and other bods there said it had been ongoing since well before I arrived. Never did see how it ended.
Conkers is quite a nice place. There’s an assault course (well worth tackling if you’re that way inclined), kids stuff to do, trees and lakes and that. There were falls and tears and laughing and chasing and tickling and more. Twas rather a good day.
Later in the day they had games! We’d arrived on “BST day”. So they put on some games for the young folk. Me and John (father of E and r) joined up for the 3 legged race. As the only all-adult team we had to run twice as far as the others. And we damn near won.
After the games the rest of the party got onto the “Conkachoo” (train) to go to the other bit of Conkers but J’s buggy wouldn’t fit on the train. So I zoomed off on the walk round. Once in the main building (to get to the exit) who did I bump into but P&C&d. Quite a coincidence. They joined us for a play down at the other bit and it was rather fun.
And that was it. Conkers is definitely worth a trip. Lots of stuff to do, loads outdoors and a good wodge of indoor things as well.
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12 Mar 2011
Posted in Life, Self-indulgence, Work at 8:55 am by alby
…I’m starting back at the nice clinic in Derbyshire again next week.
Yay!
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27 Jan 2011
Posted in Life, People, Rants at 10:25 pm by alby
It’s not often that I get annoyed by scams. Most are easy to see and ignore. However one from yesterday has really hacked me off.
N came home from school looking terribly excited. Apparently they did a poetry competition at school some time ago (first we’d heard of it mind). She waved us a serstificate wot said that she’d won and her poem was going to be in an anthology of the best poems in the competition. Hurrah! Very well done little girl.
Very pleased for her. She was beaming and proper excited. A published poet! At 5!
Then we get the bumph. The book is apparently a proper book and will be in the British Library! Well ooo. Doesn’t every book published in the UK get put in the BL? I thought so.
And then we get to the price. £16.99 per copy!
For a kid’s book? Forget that for a lark. We just bought a hardback, illustrated Alice in Wonderland for a quid. Is this anthology of children’s poems really worth 17 copies of Alice?
Cue some harumphing.
Well this morning it turns out that pretty much everyone at the school who submitted anything is also “a winner” and has got their own poem published in this book. Some were calling it a scam, others were upset as they’d already paid for it. Who wouldn’t want to see their child’s work published?
I don’t really blame the school for this, mind you they could have checked the internet say as there are loads of complaints about these scams. But aren’t the people responsible for this scam just scum? Horrible thing to do. The children are so excited and who could refuse buying their published work?
Well us for a start. I expect a strongly worded complaint to the school to be forthcoming soon.
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26 Jan 2011
Posted in Life, Work at 2:20 pm by alby
Finally!
I’ve just spent the last few days writing an academic essay again. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done a proper one of these. We had a practice one a few weeks back but that was only 1000 words and didn’t count for anything. This one counts as about 17% of my year’s work.
It’s been quite a while since I managed one of these. It’s not actually completely done and R wants to review it before I’m proper done too. Mind you as far as I’m concerned I only have the referencing stuff to do.
It’s a strange course this year. It’s a masters in “Advancing Health Care Practice“. My main problem with it is that the first year is all the tedious airy-fairy stuff about “leadership”. You know the kind of thing, all meaningless buzzwords and little actual objective knowledge. At least that what it feels like. I’d far rather be doing next year’s course which is looking at healthcare research.
Only another 2 essays and one final “bring everything together” assignment and I’m done with this subject.
Huzzah!
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