19 Jul 2010
Posted in Grammar!, Life at 8:53 pm by alby
Walking down the street in Derby on Saturday I noticed an Indian restaurant. It was closed but only ‘cos it was the wrong time of day for it to be open. Whilst there I noticed a couple of signs on the door.
The first was a local newspaper review saying how wonderful the place was.
The second said in its entirety:
“This Area Closed Due To Private Party.
Sorry For Any Incontinence”
It really really did. I have a photo on my phone of it (just can’t get bluetooth to work to get it on here grr).
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12 Jul 2010
Posted in Grammar! at 1:22 pm by alby
2 things I’ve seen recently with ace English involved.
First is a set of instructions for an electronic kitchen scale. There are lots of examples but the following impress me:
“After finishing the setting. Press “MODE” then repristination.”
and
“”press “Mode” all the while. The second will twinkle.”
and
“After finishing. No operation within 60 seconds, the system will enter the mode of the time.”
The other thing was a menu posted through our door. A high quality thing in many ways but there are plenty of oddities starting with “Pasta’s” and “Salad’s” (but not “Appetiser’s” oddly – they got that one right).
And they put “paninis” down. But right under there is a lovely bit of blurb:
“Create your own Yimmylicios Panini!”
Marvellous.
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20 Apr 2010
Posted in Grammar!, People at 7:58 am by alby
Overheard on way into the GP practice this morning:
“I’m not being funny but I think she’s a cow [pron "kaah"]“
No you are indeed not being funny. What was the point of the first third of that statement? I can’t think quite what it means.
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31 Oct 2008
Posted in Grammar! at 10:30 pm by alby
Thanks to “utterdrivel” over on the NOTBBC forums. This is a photo he/she took of the new Revels packet.
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01 Sep 2008
Posted in Grammar! at 11:54 am by alby
And why not?
Here’s a comment from the beeb message boards:
The only time I have thrown up after drinking too much alcohol through a complete stranger’s letterbox
Now what on Earth is going on with that? But well done for getting a correct apostrophe in amongst the dross.
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08 Apr 2008
Posted in Grammar! at 2:16 pm by alby
Had a patient with tats today.
Not too unusual.
One of his arms had a large list of girls names. Daughters? Not likely. Lovers? Ooh I hope not, minging.
But the best one was on his back.
“Nothing to loose”
Such a shame there wasn’t an extra O in the second word too. That would have been excellent. Come to think of it it would have been better if the patient had been female.
Have fun.
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02 Apr 2008
Posted in Comedy, Grammar! at 11:25 pm by alby
see more crazy cat pics
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21 Jan 2008
Posted in Grammar! at 5:33 pm by alby
Loose or lose?
You decide…
Actually no, you don’t decide. There’s a right way and a wrong way.
“Lose” means to not win or misplace. “Loose” means set free or not together. It’s really not a hard distinction is it?
Anyway I bring this up because I just saw an online advert apparent selling “loose fat now”. The image this conjures up in my mind is frankly disturbing.
Sort it out!
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27 Jun 2007
Posted in Grammar! at 9:05 pm by alby
Lovely story here.
Makes you wonder if the journalist knows what “flaunt” actually means. Also makes you wonder whether he/she meant “flout”. Perhaps.
Have fun.
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19 Jan 2007
Posted in Grammar! at 9:18 am by alby
You decide.
These are some examples I’ve seen today.
“The trains from london to manchester were a nightmate”
“I saw the tree blewed across the neighbourhood in the storms “
“I am usually a critque of Easyjet”
Marvellous!
Have fun.
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