"A beer and some convo"
Right then. I’ve been watching more “Only Connect” and I reckon that between us we could thrash the daylights out of some of the teams on that thing.
Who’s with me?
Suggestions will be taken and graded for suitability and humour factor.
Who’s in?
Getting a band together? New album finished?
Well no longer do you need to come up with a band name by using inspiration alone.
Try this:
* 1: Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
* 2: Go to Random quotations:
The last four words (more or less if it makes sense) of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
* 3: Cover art for the album sleeve – Go to flickrs ‘last seven days‘ section:
Pick the fourth picture.
So for my first band/album:
Band name: 8837 London
Album name: Intimidations of the Prophets
Album cover: Here
Just listened to Armando Iannucci’s Charm Offensive and heard the best bit of fumbling around I’ve heard in ages.
Here’s the bit. Well done Miranda Hart.
This is one of the most amazing pieces of writing I’ve ever seen. It’s a creation vs evolution thing so don’t bother clicking if it’s not your bag.
The author seems to know enough to string sentences together but logic and reason seem anathema to him. It really is some of the most startling bollocks I’ve ever read.
Top bits:
- Evolutionists are largely incompetent
- They are largely unproductive leaches on the productive members of society, else they are totally destructive.
I love the first part of that. Nothing like a radical generalisation to get you started.
The second part is even better. “Largely unproductive leaches” must include huge numbers of scientists in the world, many managing to produce the scientific breakthroughs that for instance mend more damaged humans than prayer ever did.
Then we get to “What should be done with evolutionists?”
Well the obvious answer would be nothing. But this guy’s first (note FIRST) response is
“Labor camps. Their fellow believers were high on these. But, my position would be that most of them have lived their lives at, or near the public trough. So, after their own beliefs, their life should continue only as long as they can support themselves in the camps.”
And if that’s not radical enough for you try:
“Require them to wear placards around their neck, or perhaps large medallions which prominently announce “Warning: Evolutionist! Mentally Incompetent – Potentially Dangerous.”
Marvellous this humility taught by Jesus eh?
Well what a morning!
Cycled to work today. First time since some time last week. Very nice.
Now there’s a bit in Watermead Park where the path goes over a swampy bit. So they’ve put a wooden path down, raised a bit from the damp ground. It’s a little bit rickety so moves a touch at times when you cycle over some of the boards.
Anyway I rode along that bit, neatly swerved past a man walking there and zoomed on.
Then a sodding fly landed in my eye. Bang on.
Now imagine cycling a thin-ish path, trying to go one handed whilst the other hand is flailing up to the eye to try and get the still buzzing thing out.
Arse over tit I went as the bike went off the side of the path. Lovely.
I now have a sore wrist and ankle. Luckily the ground was actually soft so no proper damage done and the bike’s fine.
But that wasn’t enough for the world today.
I got back on my bike just as the bloke I passed walked by me. The gears had been shoved up a bit higher so I put my feet down to pedal and nothing much happened as I didn’t put enough force down to make the high geared wheel go round. The pedal was also damp after being dunked in the swamp so my foot slipped as I tried to put more force through it.
I fell in again.
Lovely.
Bloke smirked at me.
Sigh.
What else can go wrong today I wonder?
There’s an actually funny comedy podcast (I know – unheard of). It’s called The Bugle and stars Andy Zaltzman and John Oliver.
Now it would be fair to say that these 2 are left of centre. They’ve had hate mail and it’s the most astonishing bit of writing.
I wanted to make sure I’d never forget it; so here it is:
Oily and Schmaltz;
Just what do you think you are doing? Are you humorists, or is attempted humorical behavior?
1st law of clowns; embody fundamental truths in your satire. Embittered deconstrucitve bile, as spoon fed by failing socialist scruds at NYT and its UK clones, is only momentarily amusing, and that only in brief spots when truth is accidentally encountered. Then shame and embarrassment set in. It is also repetitive and boring.
Wow, what a disappointment. I heard your WEBcast #22 and thought it had promise, but on reviewing past episodes I see you are cranky, muddled hate-as-satire business as usual. Your USA audience, the ever shrinking NYT crowd and nearly extinct Radio America snarks, may be enough to keep you in beverages at the local NYC political circle jerks. But what about returning home to UK? Do they have satire under sharia law?
Let me get this straight – you actually have some kind of Potty Prince or Dismal Duke or something who cross dresses as an Bedouin caftan flapper?
Is that where jihadists keep their satire, under their skirts? What’s the latest beheading joke out of East End?
I do find humor in the behaviors of typical Euro cretins who, after wrecking their own nations and participating in mass cultural suicide, suddenly emigrate to USA for shelter but seem to want to continue the spread of their mentally debilitating disease. I suppose if you ask a cretin, he don’t know he are one.
Wouldn’t you rather grow up to be real philosopher comedians rather than remain bum dwelling trouser fleas? The socialist hate-cheese is rich in protien but lacks essential brain building vitamins. That kind of leftist mental death is a sorry road. Next you’ll be arrested looting shops or scrawling graffiti on train sheds during imagined Bilderberg conferences.
Now stop it and be good boys. Try funny.
Wil
Indy
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