“Alan looks like someone who skinned some guy and is wearing the face.”
And they say us godless folks are the ones killing the magic of Christmas.
[Note to my folks: This isn't a happy children friendly Christmas song, really not.]
Aren’t the Westboro Baptist Church lovely?
Have a lovely day y’all.
I may have mentioned that I quite like Charlie Brooker’s work.
I’ve just been watching his latest episode of Screenwipe and it’ll remain with me for ages. Most notably for hearing Konnie Huq describe how she does a wee before then leading a bunch of men to wee on a hill to the strains of inspiring music.
What an episode!
Right then. I’ve been watching more “Only Connect” and I reckon that between us we could thrash the daylights out of some of the teams on that thing.
Who’s with me?
Suggestions will be taken and graded for suitability and humour factor.
Who’s in?
Getting a band together? New album finished?
Well no longer do you need to come up with a band name by using inspiration alone.
Try this:
* 1: Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
* 2: Go to Random quotations:
The last four words (more or less if it makes sense) of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
* 3: Cover art for the album sleeve - Go to flickrs ‘last seven days‘ section:
Pick the fourth picture.
So for my first band/album:
Band name: 8837 London
Album name: Intimidations of the Prophets
Album cover: Here
Just listened to Armando Iannucci’s Charm Offensive and heard the best bit of fumbling around I’ve heard in ages.
Here’s the bit. Well done Miranda Hart.
This is one of the most amazing pieces of writing I’ve ever seen. It’s a creation vs evolution thing so don’t bother clicking if it’s not your bag.
The author seems to know enough to string sentences together but logic and reason seem anathema to him. It really is some of the most startling bollocks I’ve ever read.
Top bits:
- Evolutionists are largely incompetent
- They are largely unproductive leaches on the productive members of society, else they are totally destructive.
I love the first part of that. Nothing like a radical generalisation to get you started.
The second part is even better. “Largely unproductive leaches” must include huge numbers of scientists in the world, many managing to produce the scientific breakthroughs that for instance mend more damaged humans than prayer ever did.
Then we get to “What should be done with evolutionists?”
Well the obvious answer would be nothing. But this guy’s first (note FIRST) response is
“Labor camps. Their fellow believers were high on these. But, my position would be that most of them have lived their lives at, or near the public trough. So, after their own beliefs, their life should continue only as long as they can support themselves in the camps.”
And if that’s not radical enough for you try:
“Require them to wear placards around their neck, or perhaps large medallions which prominently announce “Warning: Evolutionist! Mentally Incompetent - Potentially Dangerous.”
Marvellous this humility taught by Jesus eh?
Well what a morning!
Cycled to work today. First time since some time last week. Very nice.
Now there’s a bit in Watermead Park where the path goes over a swampy bit. So they’ve put a wooden path down, raised a bit from the damp ground. It’s a little bit rickety so moves a touch at times when you cycle over some of the boards.
Anyway I rode along that bit, neatly swerved past a man walking there and zoomed on.
Then a sodding fly landed in my eye. Bang on.
Now imagine cycling a thin-ish path, trying to go one handed whilst the other hand is flailing up to the eye to try and get the still buzzing thing out.
Arse over tit I went as the bike went off the side of the path. Lovely.
I now have a sore wrist and ankle. Luckily the ground was actually soft so no proper damage done and the bike’s fine.
But that wasn’t enough for the world today.
I got back on my bike just as the bloke I passed walked by me. The gears had been shoved up a bit higher so I put my feet down to pedal and nothing much happened as I didn’t put enough force down to make the high geared wheel go round. The pedal was also damp after being dunked in the swamp so my foot slipped as I tried to put more force through it.
I fell in again.
Lovely.
Bloke smirked at me.
Sigh.
What else can go wrong today I wonder?
