19 Jul 2010
Walking down the street in Derby on Saturday I noticed an Indian restaurant. It was closed but only ‘cos it was the wrong time of day for it to be open. Whilst there I noticed a couple of signs on the door.
The first was a local newspaper review saying how wonderful the place was.
The second said in its entirety:
“This Area Closed Due To Private Party.
Sorry For Any Incontinence”
It really really did. I have a photo on my phone of it (just can’t get bluetooth to work to get it on here grr).
13 Jul 2010
“This laser works at a frequency of 1.9 microns”
Anyone fancy teaching the writers any basic physics?
12 Jul 2010
2 things I’ve seen recently with ace English involved.
First is a set of instructions for an electronic kitchen scale. There are lots of examples but the following impress me:
“After finishing the setting. Press “MODE” then repristination.”
“”press “Mode” all the while. The second will twinkle.”
“After finishing. No operation within 60 seconds, the system will enter the mode of the time.”
The other thing was a menu posted through our door. A high quality thing in many ways but there are plenty of oddities starting with “Pasta’s” and “Salad’s” (but not “Appetiser’s” oddly – they got that one right).
And they put “paninis” down. But right under there is a lovely bit of blurb:
“Create your own Yimmylicios Panini!”
08 Jul 2010
After sorting out my Windows mess up I now have a further screw up caused by that wondrous seat of all that is good and holy, Apple Inc.
Itunes suggested I update my OS for my iPod. Clicked ok then.
So it downloaded something and now my iPod doesn’t work. At all.
All it gives me is a screen which is a graphic representation of “plug into iTunes”.
I plugged into iTunes. This led to a message saying “You need iTunes 9.2 – please download.”
I did. It didn’t work.
This happened last time I updated iTunes. I got past it by uninstalling it and then reinstalling the newer version. I did this again today.
Apparently there’s a program I’ve never heard of that isn’t there and for some undecipherable reason this means that I can’t install iTunes new. This is something called “Bonjour”. I’ve never heard of it before, it seems to do nothing beyond screwing up installing iTunes, it’s sat in my program list when I try and uninstall it but won’t uninstall. It also doesn’t appear on any searches of my files despite it being sat there in the list of programs. And as it’s nowhere to be seen I can’t even manually delete the thing. Words not suitable for family newspapers are passing my lips.
So I’m left with a useless iPod telling me to plug into iTunes. And an inability to get iTunes installed.
I bloody love computers! Apple and MS have caused me no end of bloody trouble this week. Where they get off on letting us know how bloody helpful their products are and how we can’t live without them I just don’t know.
Pile of shite from both of them and a plague on both their houses.
06 Jul 2010
Laptop had 2 updates recently. First was a windows update, second was an iTunes update.
I tried booting it yesterday and got an error. So Windows reverts to a screen with 2 options. 1 is start normally which takes you to the Vista loading screen and never gets anywhere – eventually it brings you back to the options screen IE back where it started.
Option 2 is Windows Repair – which does nothing. Literally it takes you back to the options screen immediately.
This leaves me unable to boot my computer. I have no Vista disk since MS feel that me having a disk to be able to help with this sort of thing would be a bad idea.
I only really need the access to get to my files. I have loads of photos and documents I don’t want to lose.
Can I get a disk of Linux or Windows from somewhere that will give me access to the system to get the files off and onto my external harddrive?
Any hints or advice appreciated.
Oh and while I’m at it does anyone know why my iPod’s iTunes store doesn’t work? Whenever I search for something it switches to the home screen. So at the mo I can’t download podcasts from the iPod or my PC.