21.03.09
Am I a real man?
Been a busy week at work this past week. Lots of patients to see and tons of other stuff to get done.
On one of my rare and all too brief breaks I was “treated” to a look at an article in some women’s mag thing. You know the sort of thing, all fashion tips and celeb breakdowns. Thrilling.
But the article wot was pointed at me was “Can you tell us a man fact?” where 40 men state a “fact” wot men know about men and women should.
Out of the 40 I think I agree with about 3 of them. Clearly I’m not a real man.
The 10 absolute disagrees for me were
- We actually love to spend money on clothes.
- We’d like to try on your underwear.
- We worry about how our hair looks almost as much as you do.
- We love it when a woman looks well groomed.
- The FA cup final is more important than any anniversary.
- We don’t understand how girls don’t like sport.
- We like heading out on a shopping trip.
- Blokes do discuss their relationships with their friends.
- We’ll do anything if it makes our mum happy.
- Everything in life is a competition for us.
Just how much is wrong there?
Love spending money on clothes? Worry about our hair? What planet are these blokes inhabiting? Idiots.
Number 4 is fun. I know I’m possibly the odd one here but I reckon the problem with (many) women is they worry far too much about looking right. Besides usually killing any individuality in their appearance it also cakes them in dust and wax. Hardly nice. Oh and I’ve found it usually makes them look worse than if they’d never bothered and just got on with it. And it tends to lead to lateness to events which is frankly just rude. “Oh I’m sorry we’re late my girlfriend wasted 30 minutes making herself look less attractive than when she woke up this morning wearing nothing but a large shirt and a sleepy smile”.
8 is a weird one for me. It’s something I try and avoid doing. Yes I talk about stuff but it isn’t the same as the stuff I hear women discussing at work. I couldn’t dream of letting slip the personal and private details of what 2 people get up to. It’s just not on.
And competition? Hardly. Annoying people with too much to prove to themselves.
Just weird ones were:
- 9 times out of 10 we’d like to sleep with your best friend.
- We’ll wait 2 days after a date to call.
- We love to get naked any time, anywhere.
- We’ll do anything for beer and kebabs.
- It’s vital that we match our mates pint for pint.
1 is just a freaky one. Girls if you’re with a bloke like that then don’t please wonder why you always get tret like dirt.
2 is just bizarre. Why?
And finally some I agree with:
- When we leave the loo seat up it’s actually to annoy you.
- If we say there’s no problem then there’s no problem.
- We’ll say what we think, if it’s important.
1 is only true for those women who witter incessantly about something so buttock numbingly tedious as worrying about what bloody position the toilet seat is at when they wander into the bathroom. Really girls what is the problem? They are designed with a hinge at one end. It means you can change the position of it yourself – it’s easy, basic engineering. Move the end that the hinge isn’t at and magically you can put the seat down. Now go and find something worth complaining about.
2 is oh so true for me. Those of you who know me well know that hassles get aired not hushed.
So out of 40 there are only 3 that I agree with. I do pity women if their men are anything like the majority of these dullards and imbeciles that the mag seems to have canvassed.