14 Feb 2007
Posted in Work at 5:23 pm by alby
We have a message on our answerphone at work. I kept it because of its strangeness. Here’s a transcript for you: NB it’s not from my dad and it’s all done in a sort of conspiratorial whisper
“Hello Alan it’s dad. I’m talking soft ‘cos I’m in the hall, mum’s watching the news. I’ve just had a word with her, she says she’s not taken any at all today. So the answer is now “yes”. I’m going out in 2 or 3 minutes and I shall be out until I come back you know later tonight, half 9, 10 ish. Bye”
What an excellent transcript.
- I want to know what the question was.
- “I’m going out and I’ll be out until I come back”? That’s an odd way of doing “going out”. I’m usually in when I’m out.
- It really wasn’t from my dad.
- We have an answerphone message stating clearly that this is the physio dept - I wonder what he heard instead. Perhaps this “Alan” leaves odd phone messages, pretending to be physios or doctors.
Life can be intriguing sometimes.
Have fun
Permalink
Posted in News, Rants at 10:27 am by alby
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6359363.stm
Cue the unthinking ranters on the Beeb message boards.
“It’s because both parents have to work to pay Blair’s taxes.” Some rant. Hmm. I doubt that because the countries that do better than us have heavier taxes. Oh and the report itself refers to the apparent lack of link between wealth and well-being. Scratch that thought then.
Then again it could be because of the lack of discipline imposed by the “loony left, soft liberals” banning such things as discipline for children. Err no. The countries above us have generally banned smacking of children and their children are far better behaved than ours. (Incidentally our “soft, loony left, liberal masters” have completely refused to contemplate this law - they are just so soft and loony aren’t they?) Hmm wonder why. Wonder if it’s because they give a shit about bringing their kids up properly rather than just giving them everything they want and leaving them to the telly.
“It’s Blair’s fault!” Ah yes the man who tells us all how to bring our children up. Lazy thinking of the laziest type. Pathetic.
I don’t know why but I would guess that it’s because people are always expecting something rather than expecting nothing. Whatever it’s nice to see that we’re number 1! Woot.
Have fun.
Permalink
13 Feb 2007
Posted in Fillums, Reviews at 9:55 pm by alby
Me, P and C and a variety of occasional bods (Lizzah, Nicky and Rod among others) have spent some time in the last few years watching scary foreign fillums at my house. I’ve been thinking about these today ‘cos I want to do some more watching.
I’ve been thinking about the ones we’ve seen and wondered if it would be worth having a “best of” evening/day and revisiting some of the better ones so far. Anyway here’s the list that I can remember:
- Visitor Q - (Insanity and perversity in spades)
- Haze - (Dull and some nasty dentistry but mercifully short)
- A Tale of Two Sisters - (Don’t remember much, something about a wardrobe?)
- Dark Water - (Best scene in a lift ever)
- Ring - (Spooky but ludicrous)
- The Grudge - (Scariest of the lot of them)
- Ichi the Killer - (Live action and exceptionally violent manga)
- The Happiness of the Katakuris - (Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets The Sound of Music)
- Battle Royale - (”I’ve got a pan lid?”)
- The Eye - (Big finale goes boom)
- Audition - (What’s in the bag?)
- The Commitment - (”They all look the same”)
They’re the asian ones. Euro ones have been:
- Funny Games - (”Where’s the remote?”)
- Das Experiment - (P slept through this one)
- Anatomie - (Heidelberg on fillum - medical scariness to match the real life freakiness of Dr Gunther von Hagens).
And then there are the cheaty ones:
- Chopper - (from the year 2000)
- House of 1000 Corpses - (T and A covered in blood - best moment was the DVD menu screen - oh and the Stumpy joke sequence)
- The Devil’s Rejects - (More T and A covered in blood)
- Cube - (Does this count?)
Well we have the first 2 Saw fillums to watch but I think that needs a seperate evening. My choice would be to watch “The Grudge” again. Maybe “Dark Water” or “Funny Games” too and then we can put “Jaaaammm” on for Clurb to chill out. And with no sign of Nicky we need to get Lizzah and poss Camille and Phil too?
Any other suggestions?
Have fun.
Permalink
12 Feb 2007
Posted in Comedy, Reviews at 9:54 am by alby
I don’t normally do a TV show review on here but I feel that last night’s Top Gear deserves one.
First off it was an excellent episode of a good show. Who cares that it’s no longer about cars but about the presenters and their childish arsing around? No-one except Brake and Road Peace and RoSPA by all accounts.
Last night’s show was a new low in finding out about cars hence it was very entertaining at times. “I’m not peeling that” was one of many lines to remember.
But they did do something that I was rather surprised by. Namely they drove across Alabama with offensive slogans drawn on the side of their cars (recalling the all american game of poking a wasp nest to see what happens). Now Alabama is one of those states where it’s a legal requirement to have more than 1 thumb per hand to obtain a residency permit so it’s hardly surprising that the natives were drawn to them like mozzies to a warm backside over a squat bog. Cue them having to run for their lives (I hope this was staged). Numbnuts the lot of them.
It showed the southern US to be a place of idiots and in-bred thugs (surely not) but some slight kudos to the natives for not shooting these foreign idiots as should surely have been their fate.
The prog did show some of the stuff that I hated when I visited America, namely the rudeness and unhelpfulness of people. But surely they’re really helpful you ask, after all we hear all the bloody time of their service ethic. Well quite but in my experience this becomes a talent for apologising nicely for terrible service.
This was shown most brutally by the state of New Orleans a year after it was wrecked by Katrina. Miles and miles of wrecked houses and businesses still unrepaired. Shocking. But not quite as shocking as the comment that a lawyer threatened to sue them for “misrepresentation” when they gave (yes gave, not sold) their cars to a mission but described one as a 1991 Camarro when actually it was a 1989 Camarro. No wonder bits of America are in such a state.
It’s a shame that it took a ridiculous juvenile arsing about with cars prog on beeb 2 to show us this stuff though. Where’s the Panorama documentary? Where’s the sober programming about why the richest country on the planet can happily leave whole swathes of the poorest people in a poor city living in such a state? Disgraceful.
Have fun.
PS Oh my god. I’ve just found this which is a more depressing look at the state of America today. Good grief.
Permalink
11 Feb 2007
Posted in Life at 7:09 pm by alby
Went to a house warming do yesterday. A girl at work has moved home to Loughborough after a couple of years in France and it was her do.
Nice event. Went with K and met loads of people from work with their partners. Met Charlie’s missus too for the first time. Might have ourselves a new one or two scary foreign fillum people you know.
This being Loughborough we had to meet someone sporty so we met the number 1 in British men’s wheelchair tennis. Bloke called Jayant. Lovely chap - just back from a tournament in Australia. Huge shoulders.
Went for a walk today and we bumped into a nerd. Well a twitcher. He was pointing over there and trying to attract our attention. We deemed him safe to approach and he pointed out a kingfisher to us. In Leicester! Sitting on a stump. Amazingly blue it was. So that was good.
On the way home some chav in a souped up Nova (or similar) managed to douse us in water by driving through a puddle. K ended up soaked, I was damp. She was not happy.
So a varied weekend of meetings and events. On balance a good one.
Have fun.
Permalink
09 Feb 2007
Posted in News, Rants at 9:03 am by alby
Some loony (not Richard Herring, so he says anyway) has been sending letter bob-ombs to offices around the UK. Started off with Crapita (collects the congestion charge for London as well as badly running lots of other services - see “eyes passim”), and moved onto such deadly threats to democracy as the DVLA and speed camera makers.
Now today they’ve discovered that the names of certain “animal rights extremists” were in the letters. So they’ve interviewed one of these guys on the radio this morning.
Forgive me if this sounds obvious. Why on earth would someone put their name in a letter bob-omb? It strikes me as an unusually stupid thing to do. These people have troubled the police so much they’ve been reclassified as terrorists (although I dispute this usage completely, at least until an animal rights bod blows up 50 people on the tube). So why?
I can’t think of a good reason. The police said “it’s a war between animal rights protesters”. I seriously doubt that. More likely it’s someone trying to throw people off the scent or it’s a victim of said rights protesters getting his own back. I think the former’s more likely.
But it didn’t stop the radio guys having a good solid kick at the animal rights lot. “Do you hate humans?” went one question. “Err no.” went the answer. Sort of obvious really.
Oh well the real bob-omber is prolly larfing it all up somewhere whilst ranting about taxes and soft-liberal loonies who are soft on crime (which incidentally include speeding and non-payment of congestion charge).
Have fun.
Permalink
08 Feb 2007
Posted in Comedy at 8:08 pm by alby
Rosie (and I would suppose Ed and Sarah). Get watching this here and enjoy yourself.
Have fun.
Permalink
Posted in Life at 7:40 pm by alby
Memories like the dooby of my wah! etc…
We’ve just had a power-cut. Haven’t had one of those in the UK near me for years and years. Last one I can remember was in 1978-9 ish when the unions cut the power. Those were the days.
Have fun.
Permalink
Posted in Rants, Travel at 8:24 am by alby
Ooh look there’s some white stuff. It must mean that travel is impossible.
To make sure of my travel plans today I listened to the local stations to hear travel advice.
“There is travel chaos through Leicester. Don’t leave the house unless you really really need to.”
Well that’s not an option for me so I thought I’d set off 30 mins earlier than normal to get to work. I’m now at work 30 minutes earlier than normal.
There’s no real disruption on the roads. The worst of it is drivers failing to realise that the completely clear and snow-free road ahead of them is completely clear and snow-free hence they drive at 5mph instead of a normal speed. On the ring road near work one convoy was overtaken by me and others as they were doing 10mph in a 40 limit. Morons. They wouldn’t slow down like that for heavy rain which would be far more dangerous than what I’ve seen this morning.
But the radio stations need to take some blame for this. It’s those adults having no sense of danger or proportion again. And being told that you’re going to take your life in your hands if you get into your car today didn’t help anyone (apart from lazy buggers having a duvet day because of the weather).
Tsk.
Have fun.
Permalink
07 Feb 2007
Posted in Life, Rants at 8:36 am by alby
I am a Tory, I can’t believe it.
I was listening to a late night discussion on 5 about “Are children too mollycoddled?” The proponent that they are was one Digby Jones, the boss of the CBI. His argument was that when kids grow up with no sense of proportionality of risk then they’re useless as adults as they’re so used to other people making the decisions for them. This seems self-evident to me. But not to the people on the show, oh no. I would usually have identified myself with them but they were using the most appalling arguments.
Talking about educational outings being cut because of insurance premiums rocketing because one mother sued when something happened (have these people never heard of “accidents”?) “Safety is paramount” they wittered. The hell it is. Education is paramount. Safety is not nor ever will be the most paramount thing in bringing up children. What life is it when you won’t let your child go outside because they might get picked up by a paedophile? But you’d be more than happy for them to go and stay at the strange uncle’s house as long as he’s there to look after them yes? Thought so. Fear is such a bad master for education isn’t it?
There was a woman who was on with her daughter (aged 12ish). The mother said she was proud to be a suffocating parent. The child was gamely trying to stick up for her mum but every time she tried to make a point her mum talked over her and stated what she thought her child meant. How much clearer can you make the other side of an argument’s point? Digby Jones was off on one (and I agree with him): “It’s nice to see that the mother there is doing all her daughter’s thinking and that’s the point I’m making - people are getting through into work and they can’t make any decisions. We don’t need or want people like that in the workforce.”
I come at this slightly differently. I’m not for training children into workers but exploiting creativity and invention. If you can’t express those aspects because of stifling surroundings then you’ll end up either as a soap-watching drone or in a mental health ward.
It was worrying to hear some listeners stories too. One old chap phoned in and complained that he took his grandchildren (aged 10ish) to a local beach and gave them money to go and get an ice-cream. They were too terrified to go together about 50yards to the van despite there being a full view to him and his wife at all times.
How depressing we have become. And to hear how smugly proud of herself that bloody woman was. Shocking.
Have fun.
Permalink
« Previous entries · Next entries »